Speech, Patterns, and Recognition (Part 0)

Explanations are in order, apologies too.

In truth, I don’t know where to start, only that I must.  So, warning: this is embarrassingly convoluted, messy, and brusque.

old haunts

Old haunts. There are some places you can’t return and it’s best to make peace with that.


I used to pride myself on my ability to write, but lately I lost it. Or rather, I forgot it. No, perhaps more accurately, I neglected it until it became so foreign to me that the idea of my own words led to frustration and self-loathing.

(We tend to reserve the harshest words for ourselves, don’t we? A person can use the cruelest language against themselves that they would never use on another. There’s a whole essay in that, one that deserves things like proper footnotes and psychology terms. I intend to write it.)

But back to ‘neglect.’ Yes, that’s the most apt. It pushed (oh, paradox, you always show up when I least expect) from the surface all the way through to the heart of things.

I am sorry for that.

I don’t think I’ve ever been as worse as I have these past few months. Really, this past year. Maybe make it two, if I really dig deep.

If I start now, I think I’ll be able to get out of this.


Sunday Sounds: Sucré, “Endless Sleep”

I missed everything.

Oh heaven, please help me, help me from falling back again.
In hibernation, a century of loneliness.

So I stay at home in my own world, and I kiss it all goodbye.
Life never seemed so elegant but so trite.

No love, no loss, there is only air.
I feel no pain, there is only here.

But this shall be the end of endless sleep.

I must stay awake.

It’s been far too long, yeah?

Hello again.

Emmyelle, graphic design, photos

A Bit of Branding

It’s the tiny details that make me giddy. Of course I love actual products that I buy from shops, but I’m also a sucker for cohesive branding via packaging or promotional materials. When I decided I was going to have some tangible goods up in the shop, I jumped at the chance to trade hours picking up stitches for hours piecing together pixels.

Product Tags, Business Cards, Stickers

Because I only have a few items at the moment, I was looking for a company that simultaneously offered greater design flexibility (variety of products, paper types, the ability to upload my own design) as well as a smaller quantity count (i.e. I don’t need 500 business cards at the moment). Moo (referral link) was perfect for that. I’d actually been eyeing them for years, way before I even thought to start up a shop– it’s the details, ya know? The biggest selling point for me was their Printfinity option, which allowed me to purchase only one set of 50 business cards and split up the designs– half would be product tags, the other half standard business cards (both share the “embellishments and curiosities” side).

Product Tags

Back of business card

Both the business cards and the product tags are printed on their “Green” paper option, which is wonderfully matte, making it perfect to write on! This also enables me to keep my options open for whatever future wares I might create! Furthermore, not only is the paper made up of 100% recycled post consumer waste, but the manufacturing process is also apparently powered by wind, which, yes, blows my mind (sorry!), but also really makes me want to rewatch Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind.

Emmyelle Stickers

Finally, because I placed these at the time of a sale, I splurged on these little vinyl stickers that I intend to stick on the outside of packages. High quality, thick vinyl with absolutely no pixelation on the designs. I love these so much!

crafting, Emmyelle

New! Free Knitting Pattern: The Flynn Hat

Happy New Year everyone! I can’t believe 2014 is over and done with! (In all honesty, I usually say “I can’t believe it’s already [insert month here]. What have I done with my life??”) I’m quite far behind in the things that I’ve been meaning to share (weird life stuff, major holiday crafting, fantastical dreams/goals), but rather than start the new year with review of the past, I thought it best to start with something new. So, I give you a shiny new pattern- for free!– the Flynn Hat!

Shown in Voolenvine Yarns' Deco Worsted in the Deck the Halls colorway

Shown in Voolenvine YarnsDeco Worsted in the “Deck the Halls” colorway

Flynn is a rib knit hat with a texture that’s not too plain or too complex- versatile for many occasions and many personalities! The ribbing not only provides visual and tactile interest, it helps the hat stretch where it needs to and stay snug where it should. Knit primarily in the Farrow Rib stitch, there are only two different rows to work until the crown, making Flynn an easy-to-memorize, quick knit, perfect for binge watching all those tv shows you have on your Netflix/Hulu/Prime queues. (Since we’re talking about movies, points if you can guess where I got the name. Hint: There are two answers!)

Flynn Hat in Voolenvine Yarns' Deck the Halls

I also used this pattern to make a hat for my dad as a Christmas gift, using Lorna’s Laces’ Shepherd Worsted in the Lake Bluff colorway, which pooled in a fun, exaggerated spiral way.

Flynn in Lorna's Laces Lake Bluff

Opposite side of the same hat. Really.

Opposite side of the same hat. Really.

If you’re not a knitter and want one of your own, I’ve made a few available for sale in my etsy shop! To celebrate the new year, there’s a coupon code for free domestic Priority/discounted International First Class shipping.

Approximately 140 yards of worsted weight. Sample shown in Voolenvine YarnsDeco Worsted (100% superwash merino, 218yds per 100g) in the “Deck The Halls” colorway.

Size US 7/4.5mm 16″ Circular Needle
Size US 7/4.5mm DPNS OR 2 circular needles OR 1 long circular needle for Magic Loop (whichever you prefer to use for knitting small circumferences in the round)
1 stitch marker to mark beginning of round

25 sts by 31 rows = 4″ in Farrow Rib (worked in multiples of 3):

Knit flat:
k2, p1 every row

In the round:
1: k2, p1 across
2: k1, p2

Adult medium*
To fit head circumference: 20-23″
(For reference, my noggin measures about 22.5″ in circumference)
Finish circumference at brim: 17″
Finished length: 8″

*To change the sizing, change the number of cast-on sts by 12: increase by 12 sts to make a larger hat or decrease by 12 to make a smaller hat. Alternatively, you can change the needle size.

Advanced beginner

CO: cast on
st(s): stitch(es)
rem: remaining
wyib: with the yarn in back
sl: slip purl-wise
k: knit
p: purl
yo: yarn-over
sl2tog-k-p2sso: wyib sl 2 sts as if to k2tog, k the next st, then pass the 2 sl sts over the k st. (sometimes written as “cdd” or “sk2p”)
k2tog: knit 2 stitches together
ssk: wyib (sl 1 st as if to k) twice, insert left needle into front of both sts and k2tog
Rnd(s): round(s)

Cast on 96 sts, join in the rnd, being careful not to twist sts, and place marker to indicate beginning of rnd.
I recommend the German Twisted Cast-On; it’s a touch more elastic than the Long-Tail Cast-On. The Cable Cast-On would also be a nice choice.

Brim: k2, p1 across.
Work 2×1 rib for 1.25″.

Rnd 1: k1, p2 across
Rnd 2: k2, p1 across

Repeat these last two rnds until hat measures 6.5″ from cast-on edge, or until desired length. The decreases at the crown will add approximately 1.5″ in length.

Repeat Rnd 1.

Begin crown decreases:
D1: (Ssk, k2tog, k1, p1, k2, p1, k2, p1) eight times. 80 sts rem.

D2: (K2, p2, k1, p2, k1, p2) eight times.

D3: (Ssk, k1, p1, ssk, k2tog, k1, p1) eight times. 56 sts.

D4: (K1 p2 k2 p2) SEVEN times. k1, p2, k2, p1, sl1, remove marker, move sl st back to lefthand needle, replace marker.
(The last st now becomes the first st of the next rnd).

D5: (sl2tog-k-psso, p1, k2tog, p1) eight times. 32 sts.

D6: K1, p1 across.

D7: (K1, sl2tog-k-psso) across. 16 sts.

D8: Ssk, k2tog across. 8 sts.

Cut yarn, leaving a tail at least 18″ long. Thread tail through rem sts and pull tight to close. Weave in ends. A quick soak and light blocking may help relaxing any stitches, especially the decreases, but other than that, you are good to go!

All content is © Emmyelle 2015 unless otherwise noted. This pattern is intended for personal non-commercial use only. Charity donations and commissions from friends are cool though! No portion of this pattern may be reproduced without express permission. Thanks!


Five by Five

A quarter of a century. Somehow I’ve made it this far, despite a lot of strange events. There were many things that have gone awry this past year, year and a half (which I’m still working on trying to find the words to explain); when I think of my trajectory, it’s nothing short of convoluted. When I think back on the goals that I set for myself for this point in time, I’m not where I hoped to be. And that’s okay. This isn’t meant to be a missive about regret (although, what birthday would be complete without it?), it’s about gratitude. If there’s one aspect in my life that’s overwhelmingly kept me steady, it’s the people in my life.

I’ve got a small group of friends, and I can’t fathom being surrounded by even more love than I already am.

Be it physical proximity or otherwise (hint: the data skews in favor of those who are not in my locale), I’m so, so thankful to know people who have an infinite capacity for kindness. Yes, I am talking about you. Without naming names, I hope you know who you are. I’m struggling with being a better person, and I could not do it without all the generosity, concern, and support you all have given me.

Too often I’m a recluse, tired and overwhelmingly anxious, yet somehow, you can forgive and continue to show patience while I slowly get back on my feet. You show no judgement to my many outlandish, perilous ambitions, instead offering encouragement and an honesty laced with compassion. The thoughtfulness that radiates from every one of our interactions astonishes me. Thank you for being an amazing listener.

I truly would not be here without your friendship, so from the depths of my soul, the bottom of my heart, and the maelstrom of my mind, thank you.