philobabble

Five by Five

A quarter of a century. Somehow I’ve made it this far, despite a lot of strange events. There were many things that have gone awry this past year, year and a half (which I’m still working on trying to find the words to explain); when I think of my trajectory, it’s nothing short of convoluted. When I think back on the goals that I set for myself for this point in time, I’m not where I hoped to be. And that’s okay. This isn’t meant to be a missive about regret (although, what birthday would be complete without it?), it’s about gratitude. If there’s one aspect in my life that’s overwhelmingly kept me steady, it’s the people in my life.

I’ve got a small group of friends, and I can’t fathom being surrounded by even more love than I already am.

Be it physical proximity or otherwise (hint: the data skews in favor of those who are not in my locale), I’m so, so thankful to know people who have an infinite capacity for kindness. Yes, I am talking about you. Without naming names, I hope you know who you are. I’m struggling with being a better person, and I could not do it without all the generosity, concern, and support you all have given me.

Too often I’m a recluse, tired and overwhelmingly anxious, yet somehow, you can forgive and continue to show patience while I slowly get back on my feet. You show no judgement to my many outlandish, perilous ambitions, instead offering encouragement and an honesty laced with compassion. The thoughtfulness that radiates from every one of our interactions astonishes me. Thank you for being an amazing listener.

I truly would not be here without your friendship, so from the depths of my soul, the bottom of my heart, and the maelstrom of my mind, thank you.

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